were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
It's shark week go big or go home
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize
