Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Randomize
