it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
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