i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
