It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
