I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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