PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Randomize
