i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
