I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
