so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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