We need to rekindle our bromance
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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