Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
