so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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