i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
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