You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
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