Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
