Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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