You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
