you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
