turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
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