Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I fill condoms, not promises.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
