Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
