in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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