he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
