I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
We were destined to go to rehab together
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Randomize
