I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
