It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
