best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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