At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Randomize
