it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Randomize
