Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
