Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
