i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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