from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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