she told me i tasted like america
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Randomize
