so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
