Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
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