But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
