Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Randomize
