I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
