overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Randomize
