He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Blood and glitter go together right?
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
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