i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
That reminds me...we need to get swords
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
