We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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