He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Sacagawea was the original milf.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
