Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
