Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Randomize
