Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
