the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Randomize
