Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Randomize
