In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Randomize
