So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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