I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
